Over the centuries, scholars have proposed countless theories to explain to whom we feel attracted. These theories include the idea that we look for someone who reminds us of our other-sex parent, or someone like ourselves (or perhaps the complete opposite!), or that we want someone whose face is perfectly symmetrical, or who fits some ancient archetype. Although such approaches may contain a kernel of truth, they each complicate what is a rather straightforward process. In this article, I first discuss who we find ‘attractive’, then turn to the question of how relationships work.
In 2020, my colleague Robert Horton and I proposed a model of attraction. Consistent with decades of research on how people fundamentally view other people, our model begins by proposing that we evaluate people on two separate dimensions: willingness and ability.
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